To me , it feels like I get overwhelmed , Like I wanted to automate signal-chat app (https://github.com/bbernhard/signal-cli-rest-api/issues/643)
I get to something which can be considered very decent for my age and I learn something new for my age (16 here) (though I used claude for this)
but I just can't justify it taking my head for like a week straight and eating my marks.
I can't actually seem to have balance. I have had enough. I wanted to create this really cool project that everybody likes and gets stars on github , I wanted to be the cool guy in coding (I know sounds cringe) , I look up to people like primagen , fireship , maybe even theo . But now I just feel like programming has become my tool of saying hey I know things , instead of actually having impact in the world.
I feel like chasing the clout of internet people which just feels weird. I was once in a discord chat (not even related to foss) and there was this one guy who belittled me for not having enough stars (like I think I have 0 stars from anybody else or very less) and he had like 20 something. It just feels wrong. Open source doesn't seem like the thing I had hoped it was. Some people star something if the project is great (maybe like signal) but doesn't have a perfect api (I think)*
It just feels like I am ranting. I used to get really good marks in studies untill I am daydreaming about how to proceed in this action. It has truly taken a toll at me. I feel like living a double life.
I feel so distracted , fuzzed out. I just feel like Leaving coding for 2 years (I am in high school right now) and to join it after 2 years when I am officially in college and this would be the thing which would matter then.
(I like maths , physics but chemistry has just taken another level of toll at me , I just can't do organic chemistry because instead of organic chemistry , I am messing up with electron debugging and trying to find how to use signal to create decentralized shorteners / storage using group avatars or some other idea like a alternative to bittorrent which can work over normal vpn ) I don't even think that I can earn money with any of these things. Most of these are p2p-ish , the most I can earn is someone's good will but I won't forsake my mental health just for that , I suppose.
- Build each project, assume they won’t make money
- Highlight the skills on resume
- Study and focus on school
- Get a job, start a life, stay away from drugs and alcohol
- Don’t take things too seriously and enjoy life.
——
There’s no special advice, it’s the same for us all.
I did that. Admittedly, I did that in the 80s, so things are not the same now. But I grew up dabbling with old Apple ][s, and then stopped when high school came around. I didn't even really pick it up in college - but my first job out of college was in the tech world, and my career went just fine from there.
You have lots of time ahead of you. You are correct that you don't need to thrash your mental health at this point in life over such things. Just learn and grow yourself. Don't fall into the traps of FOMO or trying to live up to what the top handful of other youths are doing. Live your own life, enjoy it, learn all you can, and be ready to have an impact when the opportunity truly presents itself.
Ideas is "this is how people do X, they spend/make Y amount of money of it. If they use my product that does Z instead - they will make/waste Q amount of money/time. Where Q is _significantly_ less/more than Y. I am confident this estimation is correct because: a) i know/have first hand some actual real world example of it b) i use some _very_ similar examples that support this"
Only then you go check and see if there is a real demand and you have a necessary skill to deliver.
2. Aggressively use money filter for your ideas - it is not ideal but only good enough measurable tool we have to estimate something's worth. Including ideas and your time investment in pursuing them.
For example if you apply this filter to many so called "micro" saas things you may end up concluding that it is far more profitable and reliable investment of your time to score a good FAANG position. Of course there are many other considerations, but money is the best starting point.
Then just go and create whatever and however you feel like.
If you're talented and lucky enough - something will stick some day.
It's useful to stay within some niche for enough time to build solid skills. To have a backup plan of regular job if you're not lucky.
Stage 1) they program to prove to themselves that they can.
Stage 2) they program to prove to others that they can.
Stage 3) they program for money.
You can't rush these stages, they happen organically, and each takes time.
It sounds to me like you're in Stage 2 - you're looking for external validation. Just knowing that can be helpful, because how you seek out that validation is important.
Firstly, and I want to stress this, Stage 1 and Stage 2 should be fun. If you're not giving fun, then stop for a bit. It'll help you keep perspective.
High school is likely more important right now. That's building block for the next step (college) and so is your "day job". All through your life you'll be balancing your day job with your fun. It's important to understand that the day job comes first. Do that well and the fun comes easily. Doing the day job badly always negatively detracts from the fun stuff.
Learning this balance is a huge part of growing up. Some never get it right. You're grappling either it now, and that's really good. Spend a bit of time getting the day job part right first. You'll find that once that part of your life is right, the fun part is a lot more fun (and a lot less stressful.)
Back to the validation part. Seeking the approval of others is part of the process (Stage 2). But be careful who you seem approval from. Ultimately you're forging your own path. Understand where that person is on their own path.
For example, even I was at university (back when dinosaurs roamed the earth) my peer group were all my age, and roughly of equal skill. We drove each other - each trying to do better than the others. We admired (and copied) each others work, but we didn't really tell them that. Indeed if anything there was a fair amount of self-promotion- jostling for position as it were. But simply being "there" was the validation we needed.
We didn't have the online thing, so there wasn't that need for online approval- we didn't get github stars, and the stuff we made wasn't "useful".
Part of what made this period fun was that we were well past Stage 1. We were all confident in our ability to program. There was no self doubt. Stage 1 people get very little attention from those in Stage 2.
Ideas will come thick and fast to you. Treat them like toys. Play with them until they're not fun anymore. I still get lots of ideas every day. Most are bad. I might get a couple good ones a month. But at your Stage you can play with an idea, get a feel for it, then move onto the next one.
The goal here is fun. If you're not having fun, there's no point. Equally you're learning about priorities- if the day-job-work is not done for the day, it robs you of the fun part.
In many ways I envy you. You have a long path in front, and at this point it could go anywhere. You don't need to have it figured out yet, there's lots of time for that.
And yeah I know, you probably envy me because I "made it" and I have it "all figured out". That's OK too. Just remember, you're not walking my path, or your heros path, you're walking your path. Relax in that. See the fun in that. Live your best life at each stage, and don't worry quite as much what everyone else thinks.
(After needlessly long monolog grey haired man exists stage-left and the snoring audience wakes up.)