I know my job carries value. If done right, the whole company benefits by having clarity in what to do. The whole company is doing so much more than I could do as an individual and they can progress without doubts because of the groundwork I've helped lay down.
So while I don't have a feeling of being worthless, it all feels empty at the same time. I miss being a person who actually does stuff instead of directing it. I don't have long work hours. I receive a good salary. But I still feel like I'm heading towards burnout. It's work I don't want to do anymore. Does anyone else feel this in senior roles? What do you do at this point? Is there a limit I can go in my career with this feeling? Advice and shared experiences are appreciated here.
Just when I learned how to build high quality, secure, and performant software I was pushed into the role of management. It took me some time to figure out where to draw the line between being an IC and being a manager. But when I realised that the success in the role dependent on the success of my team, I started investing my time in developing and growing the team to create a mindset of building high quality, secure, and performant software.
>> The whole company is doing so much more than I could do as an individual
This realisation is important that as a company grows, you will not be able to do all the things by yourself. You would need reliable, high agency people to take care of things exactly the way you would have. Train them. Build them into next generation leaders. Slowly start delegating more responsibility. Allow them to reach their best potential. These are soft skills and building soft skills takes decades, but they are worth investing time in. Focus on taking high quality decisions and help make sure they are getting delivered while meeting stakeholder expectations.
If you start enjoying the above aspects, you'll feel less burned out. You may not be in a position to build software, but you'll be in a position to build high performing teams and be an invaluable asset to the company.
If you still think IC work interests you more, you should ask your management to move back into the IC role and help them figure out the right person who can take up the people management, process improvement job.
I hope this helps! :)
Therefore, I get less burnt out as I get more senior. If the "10x programmers" insist on overcommitting and then write slop code to meet their commitments, then they are the ones who have to deal with the consequences.
The only reason you should be less hands on the more senior you become is one of the following:
* objectivity - This means stepping back and taking a bigger view. You must criticize things you would never criticize before and ask better questions.
* administration - When you hit management or principle level your time becomes filled with meetings and things to do. You also have a lot to account for plus other additional responsibilities. These things will take up most of your time and leave you with mental fatigue.
The higher up you get the more time at work you should expect to spend. Although promotions come with raises expect your pay rate per hour to actually decrease with each promotion until you achieve high senior management. Just become you have more administrative and people oriented things to do as you elevate doesn't mean you get to abandon coding. It just means you need to account for that time somewhere else. If this remains your line of work you have to maintain your proficiency.
When people get burnt out its typically not from doing too much work, but doing too much work they don't enjoy. That could mean too much administration or it could also mean writing code that feels ethically dirty that knowing causes harm with in terms of tech debt or in terms of real moral harm in the world.
That's where I am :) . It's valuable work that I don't enjoy doing. There's a lot of great advice given so far. I need to spend some time thinking about it.
Perhaps consider creating your own product as a "micropreneur": a mobile app, a SaaS service, a social media website, etc. Evenings/weekends at first, using your salary money for dev outsourcing and marketing. This kind of endeavor will feel very personal in the context of "ownership" and very hands-on in every respect. Make sure to read a couple of Product-Market-Fit books first (e.g., "Start Small, Stay Small" by Rob Walling), if you are not already familiar with the subject of business development.
Part of being burnt out is not caring about any one problem enough to want to solve it yourself.
4-5 years later, here is the issue I ran into… I was put in a position to take a managerial role, because I was performing a lot of those duties in an unofficial capacity already. Projects needed to be organized, decisions on what work was worth doing needed to be made, roadmaps defined, resources allocated, metrics collected and reviewed, team members needed evaluations, etc. When I moved back to be an IC I stopped doing these things, thinking the people whose job it was to do these things now would do them. They didn’t. I feel like I need to step up and do this stuff again, because the last several years have gone so poorly, but then I’m stepping back on the ladder I actively stepped off of. I know where it leads, so I kick the can down the road and hope for someone to start actually managing the team. I meantime our whole team starts looking worse and worse.
Maybe OP works are a place with more competent management, but if they are rising up and taking on these tasks because no one else is able or willing to do the work, going back to being an IC will leave a vacuum that may not get filled.
The only step up you should be considering is to a better role, at a better company, with better leadership.
I really don't like this take to be honest, I will only work at a company that I want to work at. It's not like working a mindless 9-5 where I just want to clock out and leave. I'm there because I want to be and believe in the product/company I'm working for.
There's nothing wrong with that, regardless of managment, if I'm working towards something, I already feel I want to improve it.
It's not a "Hero syndrome" as you mentioned in your other comment, it's more having self respect for your work.
Self-respect has to do with doing the work you're asked to do well, not making sure the corporation runs better than it's leadership facilitates.
I switched companies for one with more professional management. Flat org structure just means “squeeze all the juice out of your experienced engineers until they quit.”
You're choosing to dwell in that chaos. You've always the option of looking in the mirror, asking hard questions on your motives, and then moving on to somewhere peaceful.
Your needs matter too, and while no job is perfect, it sucks to dread work every day! I hope you can talk to them and find a better balance.
https://youtu.be/qpaEqvSCcVs
Guilt helps no-one. Better to take that energy you're expending on guilt and redirect it into making this situation work for both you and those around you.
I've tried more senior roles and didn't enjoy them. Just coding is much more immediately rewarding for me. OTOH, I'm starting a business and plan to scale once I gain some traction. But I'm looking forward to that since I'll have actual ownership, unlimited upside potential and control.
Personally, being stuck in the middle where you don't have any significant ownership but are managing people doesn't work for me. I've worked in jobs before that have got me down and there's only so long you can stick them out before they really affect you.
I normally find contracts now where I'm one of the most senior devs (they normally pay quite well). They are out there.
Find what works for you. There's more than one way to do it.
I miss the state of flow very much, not being able to focus on one thing and diving deep for a couple of hours or even a couple of days. The constant context switch and firehosing of incoming messages I have to fend off is draining.
Just as you say, some days feel like having been completely busy while not achieving anything of substance. I know I am lubricating others work, but I'd love to be with my own toughts for a while also.
For the next project I am attempting to dedicate full and exclusive days to the different contexts, so that at least on that single day my mind is not concerned with all the contexts, threads and their TODOs.
I am already tagging my incoming emails with "TODO" and "waiting for reply" and sorting them into their respective folders and then afterwards heading for the tag stacks and working on them. I think I will add tags for contexts and set up filters, so that I can open the right TODO stack for the topic of the day I am working on, to conceal any "not today" work.
Once I recovered, I've moved 'up the chain' into a COO role and it didn't help at all - I felt exactly as you described.
With a lot of reflection, I've come to believe that I love 'doing' much more than I love 'managing' and that was a big contributor towards the empty, lethargic feeling.
I've now left that style of work and have started building bootstrapped products with a co-founder, and it's amazing. New energy, hands-on every day, fun!
Hope that's helpful
Revisit what the firm is about, and what actually is your responsibility in this. Your responsibility is not to push paper and run meetings - these are just some of your means.
You also do get to take pride in what "your" people got built. That's not unfair just because you were not the one at that keyboard.
The difference is between being a "Senior Developer" or some other title that implies the seniority of your contribution compared to a "Head of" or "Senior" in the management hierarchy which is about budgets and P/Ls and GANTT charts and etc.
Your company needs to revise it's hierarchies to allow for ICs to be promoted to a similar level as management and have the same power over the area that you are senior (ie design, tools, versioning, SRE work, etc).
You decide what the work required is, both for new and ongoing, but it is then the management hierarchy that incorporates that into prioritizing the tasks against customer deliverables, budgets etc.
I think there is a silver lining and opportunity if you choose to look at it that way. That’s how I overcame similar feelings.
I can tell you from personal experience that there is room at companies for super senior ICs. they still might do some plans and and communications, but they can also do hands on work.
I can also tell you from personal experience that if you contort yourself into a shape you don't enjoy because the company needs it, eventually you'll leave and the company will lose a solid team member. That doesn't mean declare you need to be an IC right now, but if you need to move back to that kind of role, there are paths to it (hiring a different head of engineering, for example).
Good luck.
im genuinely asking if op has hobbies or interests that should be alleviating the dreadfulness you get from boring repetitive work.
Wish I knew what to do. The work I enjoyed doesn't exist anymore. It's all executive bullshit
Is this a bad thing?
> I miss being a person who actually does stuff instead of directing it.
Do you actually miss this or are you just in a role where you’re uncomfortable for the first time and want to get back to what’s comfortable?
> Does anyone else feel this in senior roles?
Yes.
> What do you do at this point?
You either figure out how to be satisfied doing the work you’re doing or you find a new job.